Shawn Mendes comments on sexuality and the problem with speculation

Shawn Mendes lets us in.

The singer opened up about his sexuality at a concert on Monday night – an oft-discussed topic among fans, viewers and many members of the LGBTQ+ community. He said: “Sexuality is such a beautiful, complex thing, and it's so hard to just put it in boxes.”

Mendes continued: “It always felt to me like an intrusion into something very personal. Something I discovered within myself, something I hadn't yet discovered and still have yet to discover… The real truth about my life.” And my sexuality is that, man, sometimes I just don't really know, and sometimes I know. And it feels really scary because we live in a society that has a lot to say. And I try to be really brave and allow myself to be human and feel things. And that's all I really want to say right now.

Celebrities regularly face speculation about their sexuality: Kit Connor, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, to name a few. But should they, especially if they’re still “working on it like everyone else”? And do they even have to say anything about it?

The short answer: no. Because the consequences, especially if someone is forced out of the closet, could be dire. Take a look at Google's social media or anti-LGBTQ legislation in the US and see why.

Coming out isn't really over yet. Here's why.

Speculation about sexuality is intrusive

Kit Connor, star of the Netflix series “Heartstopper,” came out as bisexual two years ago. But not the way he wanted.

“Back for a minute. I'm bi. Congratulations on forcing an 18 year old to come out,” Connor wrote in a short tweet. “I think some of you didn't understand the point of the show. Bye.”

The gay coming-of-age drama “Heartstopper” focuses on a budding romance between doe-eyed high school students Nick and Charlie – played by Connor and Joe Locke, respectively – with Nick unsure of his sexuality. Fans accused the star of “queerbaiting” – when a straight, cisgender person appears to benefit from LGBTQ fashion, music, acting roles and more.

This debacle showed what happens when queerbaiting goes wrong. “There is a big difference between the audience that raises legitimate concerns about exploitative, LGBTQ-centric portrayals as well as queerbaiting and online trolling…,” Melvin Williams, an associate professor of communication and media studies at Pace University, previously told USA TODAY .

The same goes for Mendes. For a star who hasn't actually said anything definitive about his sexuality, countless social media posts sure like to talk about it without any evidence to back it up. Of course, everyone is free to discuss their wishes privately. But talking about someone's sexuality in a public forum when they're not comfortable with it is a whole different kind of interference.

“Heartstopper” dealt with sex among teenagers. It sparked an important conversation.

Shawn Mendes doesn't owe us an answer

However, unlike the average person, shouldn't celebrities expect to be questioned about their personal lives?

Nope. “The nature of celebrity journalism is to gather as much information as possible about celebrities we know arguably too well,” Williams explained. “However, celebrities and non-celebrities do not owe the public an affirmation or declaration of their sexual orientation, and disclosure should remain a matter of choice.”

Experts say people should never feel obligated to come out, especially if their safety is at risk. People also shouldn't come out if they're not ready. And “ideally, we would work to create a world without boxes or closets to 'get out of,' because we would never be expected to be anything other than what we pretend to be,” says Moe Ari Brown , a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY. “Until that change occurs, we must make conscious decisions about who we want to invite to a celebration of our identity.”

Shawn Mendes lets us in. And he shouldn't feel pressured to tell us anything else.

Speculation about sexuality is intrusive

Shawn Mendes doesn't owe us an answer

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