Anna Kendrick, trauma dumping and alleged abuse

Anna Kendrick hasn't shied away from speaking out about her alleged emotionally and psychologically abusive past relationship and the impact that relationship has had on her. In a recent interview with The Independent, she said she couldn't help but put the traumatic events behind her.

“It's a literally true story that after this really traumatic relationship, my plumber came over and asked how I was doing and I just told him everything,” Kendrick told the outlet. “I just couldn’t spend another second breathing dishonest air.”

Although speaking out your trauma is a necessary part of the therapeutic process, it doesn't always work out the way you want it to. The audience is just as important as the environment, and sometimes that can cause problems.

Kendrick's memories are relatable to those who have experienced similarly difficult life circumstances.

“Maybe you see someone at a party… and suddenly you're talking about a terrible date you had and how it reminded you of the time you were abused as a child,” says Carla Manly, clinical psychologist and author of “ “Joy out of fear,” he previously told USA TODAY. Manly says a problem arises when serious information is disclosed “without permission, in an inappropriate place and time, and to someone who may not have been in a position to absorb that information.”

Unlike venting, trauma dumping occurs “unprompted and unprepared, whereby a person unloads traumatic thoughts, feelings, and energy onto an unsuspecting person,” be it a close friend or a stranger.

“We often have so much frustration, irritation and anger bottled up inside us that we just need a place to release it,” Manly explained.

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What is trauma dumping?

Looking back on the troubled relationship, “it actually feels like something was stolen from me,” Kendrick previously told USA TODAY. “Being caught in this loop of trying to improve (the relationship) and find a way to fix the problem also meant that I was sacrificing more and more of myself.”

Many people engage in trauma dumping without realizing it. Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and author of “The Empath Survival Guide,” previously told USA TODAY that these trauma victims use it as a coping mechanism.

“Usually it's an unconscious fear that they're venting and just dumping on another person to release the energy and frustration, and letting that fear out can seemingly help a trauma victim,” she says.

There is a fine line between venting and draining. Experts say the latter is “toxic” and “damaging” because trauma dumping does not include or respect the consent of the listener and often appears one-sided.

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“We can be supportive, but we cannot take on the trauma of others”

Everyone should feel comfortable talking to friends or even strangers when it makes sense to talk about their frustrations, but some conversations are meant for a therapist.

With the help of therapy, Kendrick was finally able to recognize the abuse for what it was. Although she kept the details vague, a “big turning point” came when she found “black and white evidence” that her partner was denouncing her. She also “brought all the gory details into conversations with various friends.”

Others find it helpful to express feelings on TikTok in a lighthearted way.

“Finding ways to cope with traumatic events is unique to each individual,” Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY. “Sharing your experiences and feeling seen can be incredibly healing in difficult times. There is nothing inherently wrong with finding laughter or lightheartedness in coping with a painful event, as long as it doesn’t involve avoiding your feelings.”

However, “not everyone has the bandwidth to process other people’s traumas, because their own lives are also full of stress,” explains Manly.

According to Orloff, most people who are victims of trauma dumping feel anxious, stressed, helpless and even depressed after the conversation.

“People may feel better after dumping trauma, but the person they dump it on feels terrible,” she says. “They usually feel drained and there’s just too much serious, unexpected information all at once.”

Experts say it's OK to set boundaries with those who are constantly dealing with trauma. It is important to emphasize that while you care about them, you also need to protect your own peace.

Contributor: Jenna Ryu and Patrick Ryan

What is trauma dumping?

“We can be supportive, but we cannot take on the trauma of others”

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